The House of Atreus
by foxwhiskers
Summary: This was co-written by Earwax and I. It is our rendition of The House of Atreus. Please review!
1. Act I

The House of Atreus

A/N: This was co-written by Earwax and I during the time we were in seventh grade, so the sentence structuring and vocabulary might be awkward. This is our rendition of The House of Atreus, hope you enjoy it!

Characters (in order of appearance):

Athene

Tantalus

Hermes

Demeter

Apollo

Hades

Hestia

Poseidon

Aphrodite

Hephaestus

Zeus

Hera

Ares

Artemis

Thyestes

Atreus

Oracle of Delphi

Agamemnon

Clytemnestra

Two soldiers

Iphigenia

Cassandra

Aegisthus

Orestes

Act I: Scene 1: The Courtroom

The scene opens in a large courtroom. The room is full of men who, with great intensity, are staring at the beautiful woman standing between two large clay jars. The others in the room have already made their votes; the woman's vote alone would break the tie. Her vote alone would condemn the murderer to death pr allow him to walk free. The woman puts her stone in the jar marked "not guilty." She then turns to address her audience.

Athene: Half of you are probably wondering why I find this man (pointing toward Orestes) not guilty of his crime. But I see you trust my judgment. After all, who doubts the judgment of Athene, Goddess of Wisdom? I chose my verdict for two reasons. One" It is not his fault but the fault of his twice-great grandfather, Tantalus, that the murder was committed. (Athene then pauses to observe the stunned look of the jury.) Perhaps I should explain.

Act I: Scene 2: Tantalus

The scene opens to Tantalus' house. Tantalus is in the kitchen making a "special" meal for his houseguests. Athene is sitting at the table in the center of the kitchen.

Athene: Tantalus, King of Lydia is busily making his "special" meal for his superior guests. I remember that night well. Tantalus insisted on doing everything himself. Since he is King, he is always lazy; it was very unlike him to do anything strenuous. He has servants to do all of his work.

Act I: Scene 3: The Feast

The dining room is magnificent. There is a huge candle lit golden chandelier in the room's center, above the large mahogany table. At the table, the main gods and goddesses are seated.

(Tantalus enters carrying a large soup pot.)

Everyone: Thank you, Tantalus, for taking your time in preparing this feast.

Tantalus: You are welcome, oh Wise Ones.

Athene: What kind of meat did you cook?

Tantalus: It's a surprise, I hope you like it. (He winks.)

Hermes: Well, whatever it is, it looks absolutely delicious.

Demeter: (Depressed) Thank you for making us such a lovely meal. I haven't been able to eat since my daughter was stolen. And right from under my nose too. (She takes a bite out of the meat and goes back for more.) It is absolutely delicious.

(Tantalus looks around the table. He sees that no one is eating. They are waiting for his signal.)

Tantalus: Well, what are you waiting for? Eat to your heart's desire.

(They each take a bite. In horror, they all spit the meat out.)

Apollo: This is human flesh!

Demeter: I didn't know! I was too worried about Persephone to realize it was human flesh!

Hades: Always about your daughter, get over it. She's not coming back!

Demeter: (Starts to cry.)

Hades: Typical, the younger sister always cries.

Demeter: (Through sobs) I'm starting to think you took her!

Hades: Don't be ridiculous. Why would I steal her?

Hestia: Let's get back to the matter at hand.

Poseidon: Who did you kill and why did you do it?

Tantalus: I killed my son, Pelops. I admit it!

Aphrodite: But I thought you loved your son.

Hephaestus: Why did you sink to such a level?

Tantalus: (ranting) I did it to spite you all! You think you are so high and mighty! You think you know everything! But you don't! I wanted to see if you could guess the meat to be human! You knew, but you couldn't guess who it was! I still win! (Starts to laugh like a maniac.)

Zeus: He's stark raving mad!

Hera: (Sarcastically) What tipped you off?

Ares: It is of no consequence. He still deserves to be punished. Hey, Artemis, you hate men. What do you suppose should happen to him?

Artemis: the same thing I did to Actaeon.

Hera: What did you do to him?

Artemis: I turned him into a stag and set my hunting dogs on him. No one sees me bathing and lives to tell other men.

Apollo: You know, sister, you hold too many grudges against men. You might want to work on you r social skills.

Artemis: You're just jealous that more people worship me than you.

Apollo: (Standing up in rage.) You want to take this outside?!

Zeus: Sit down!

Apollo: Yes, Father. (Sits down.)

Zeus: Everyone knows that I'm worshiped more than the both of you.

Hestia: What about Tantalus? Shouldn't we be focusing on him?

Hermes: Quiet, it's getting interesting!

Hades: How about we kill him and I'll do the rest.

Act I: Scene 4: The Sentence

Tantalus is in front of Hades throne. H's waiting to be sentenced.

Hades: I hereby sentence you to spend eternity in a pool of cool, clear, beautiful water. A tree bearing many types of fruit will be placed above your head. Whenever you try to drink from the water, it will drain into the ground. Whenever you try to grab a fruit from the tree, it will be blown just out of reach by the wind. As a result, you will suffer from hunger and thirst and you will never be satisfied.

Tantalus: Noooooooooooooooooooooo…

Hades: (Interrupting.) Sorry to interrupt, but we got to move this along. I have a lot of people to judge.

Tantalus: While we are here, can you tell me what happened to my son?

Hades: Since when do you care?

Tantalus: Please tell me, O wise ruler of the underworld.

Hades: Well, if you are going to beg… We restored him to life. He is fine, but the shoulder that Demeter ate is now made of ivory.

Act I: Scene 5: A Brief History of Pelops and Niobe

Back in the courtroom.

Athene: From that day onward the House was cursed. On a lighter note, Hades was telling the truth. Pelops got his life back and lived to be quite old. He married a woman named Hippodamia. They had two sons: Atreus and Thyestes. Pelops fared much better than his sister, Niobe. Niobe also got married and had seven sons and seven daughters. She once told the people of Thebes to worship her. She asked them why they worshiped Leto. After all, she had seven times as many children and claimed to be greater and stronger than the pathetic Leto. Niobe told the people to make sacrifices to her in Leto's temple. Leto's children, Artemis and Apollo, did not stand for this insubordination. They came down from Olympus and killed all of Niobe's children, right in front of her. Her husband could not stand to see his children die and he committed suicide. After this, Niobe became a stone that wept night and day for the loss of her offspring and husband. But this is not important. My next tale is of Pelop's offspring, Atreus and Thyestes.

Act I: Scene 6: Atreus and Thyestes

Athene: Thyestes and Atreus were loving brothers and the princes of Mycenae. Thyestes broke their bond by having an affair with Atreus' wife Aerope. Atreus found out and was bitter for a long time. He eventually forgave his brother and invited him to a private banquet.

Curtain opens to banquet.

Thyestes: Thank you for forgiving me, brother. I cannot apologize enough for the actions that I have committed. I'll do anything to earn back your trust.

Atreus: Do not trouble yourself. Just relax and enjoy your meal.

Thyestes: I'm glad you came to your senses. (Takes a bite out of the meat.) You know, this is pretty good. By the way, Atreus, weren't my sons supposed to be here?

Atreus: They are already here.

Thyestes: Where? I didn't see them.

Atreus: Take a look at your fork.

Thyestes: (Takes a look at his fork's reflective-like surface.) I don't see their reflection, maybe I', not catching the light.

Atreus: No, you idiot, they are on your fork!

Thyestes: You shrunk them?!

Atreus: No…

Thyestes: (Interrupting, looking at his fork.) I can't see them.

Atreus: No, I killed them and cut them into little pieces, boiled them and served them to you.

Thyestes: Oh my gods! First you shrunk them, and then you killed them and gave them to me to eat! Murderer! (Gets up and runs towards Atreus and raided his sword to strike.)

Atreus: You can kill me now, but you'll never get away, my palace is littered with guards. Leave now and they won't kill you. (Thyestes storms out.)

Act I: Scene 7: The Oracle of Delphi

Opens to the Temple of the Oracle of Delphi. The temple is lit by many candles atop golden chandeliers. The Oracle sits on a throne in the room's center.

(Thyestes enters and walks towards the throne. He is obviously angry. When he gets to the throne he bows and begins to speak.)

Thyestes: Oh great Oracle of Delphi, I'm here because…

Oracle: Yes, yes, I know why you're here. I'm an oracle. I see everything, genius, including the past and future.

Thyestes: OK, then what am I supposed to do?

Oracle: First of all, I would like to say that my family is way messed up, but yours is much worse, and its about to reach its high point.

Thyestes: (Offended) What do you mean?

Oracle: Let me put this delicately: Your brother killed you r sons and fed them to you because you had an affair with his wife. Now you have to marry your daughter, Pelopia and have a son with her. His name will be Aegisthus. This son will kill Atreus at age seven and then he will harm your nephew, Agamemnon.

Thyestes: (Excited muttering) Now I have a reason to marry her!

Oracle: I heard that, you pervert!

Thyestes: No, you didn't… I better get going now. (Exits)

Oracle: (Shouting) Maybe you should see a shrink! My doctor's very good! His name is Socrates! He's listed, for the sake of the gods and goddesses, he's listed!


	2. Act II

**The House of Atreus Act II**

Act II: Scene 1: Agamemnon and Clytemnestra

Agamemnon: If I don't kill her, Artemis will not be satisfied and my army will be unable To go to Troy.

Clytemnestra: I won't let you kill my daughter just because Helen's a harlot.

Agamemnon: Your sister may be that, but I swore to my brother that I would get her back.

Clytemnestra: Menelaus should let Paris keep her. If Helen strays from him that quickly, then she does not deserve him as a husband.

Agamemnon: I promised to get her back.

Clytemnestra: What have you to gain if I kill Iphigenia?

Agamemnon: The fall of Troy and my life, perhaps Artemis will forgive me. You know, she's biased against men. I think she is a lesbian.

Clytemnestra: OK, back to the point, I grant you permission to kill Iphigenia.

Agamemnon: Thank you, dear, I will. (Kisses her, she flinches, he exits.)

Clytemnestra: He won't kill her. He values her above his own life.

Act II: Scene 2: Aulis

Agamemnon, Clytemnestra and Iphigenia walk out on stage. Toward the center of the stage there is an alter. On both sides of the alter stand two soldiers.

Soldier #1: (To Iphigenia) Stop right there!

Iphigenia: (To her parents) What's going on?

Soldier #2: You'll soon find out. (The soldiers grab her and pin her down.)

Iphigenia: Mommy, daddy, help me!

(Agamemnon approaches, ready to strike, with tears in his eyes.)

Agamemnon: Sorry, but this is the way it has to be.

Clytemnestra: (Hysterically) No, no… Take me instead!

(Agamemnon strikes with all force he could muster at her neck.)

(Clytemnestra collapses and starts to cry uncontrollably.)

Agamemnon: (To Clytemnestra) I'm sorry, but it had to be done. (He then exits with both of the soldiers.)

Clytemnestra: (Screaming) I'll get you for this Agamemnon, mark my words, I will get you. Do you hear me? I'm going to kill you!

Act II: Scene 3: The Return of Agamemnon

Ten years have passed. Troy has been conquered and Agamemnon is returning home. At the house, Clytemnestra is preparing her vengeance against him.

Agamemnon: Dear Clytemnestra, I have returned!

Clytemnestra: Obviously.

Agamemnon: Oh, how I have missed that sarcastic wit. I have brought you many gifts from Troy. I hope you enjoy them. I too have received many gifts from my army. One of them is Cassandra, (gesturing to Cassandra) a Trojan princess and prophetess. Let us go inside.

(Agamemnon and Clytemnestra enter the house, but Cassandra lingers. She takes a long look at the House of Atreus.)

Cassandra: So this is where I will die. (She walks into the house.)

Act II: Scene 4: The Fate of Cassandra and Agamemnon

The scene opens to the kitchen, Clytemnestra and her lover, Aegisthus, are sharpening their weapons on a whetstone.

Clytemnestra: (Whispering) Are you ready?

Aegisthus: As ready as I'll ever be.

Clytemnestra: Now remember, I'll kill his harlot and you'll kill Agamemnon.

They sneak up behind Agamemnon and Cassandra. They lift up their weapons to produce a powerful blow at their backs.

Act II: Scene 5: The Final Verdict

Athene: The death of Agamemnon caused Orestes to kill his mother and her lover. He killed her while she lay on the floor, begging for her life. But, he struck her, a defenseless woman. The curse had much to do with Orestes' actions, but so did the words of Apollo. He told Orestes to destroy his father's murderers. Yes, this man is guilty, but he destroyed murderers. It was an act of vengeance, and a just one. Orestes has been tortured by the Furies for years now and has suffered enough. He has paid for his crime and should be allowed to walk away freely.

Orestes: Might I be allowed to speak?

Athene: Might as well.

Orestes: I am truly sorry for killing my mother, Clytemnestra. It was my fault and mine alone. Please forgive me for this horrible deed.

Athene: Because you have sought forgiveness, it is granted to you. Never again will you or any of your descendants be cursed like the previous members of the House of Atreus.

Orestes: Thank you, oh Wise Athene. I am truly grateful.

Athene: Athene locuta est, causa finita est. (Athene has spoken, the case is closed.)

A/N: Hope you found that entertaining. Please be kind and review!


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